17:06 - 2004-11-25
Happy Third-Thursday-In-November Day!
I guess it's time to make another attempt at dipping into my aging supply of inspiration. In the area of mind-news, the world recently, in general, has felt flat, indifferent, and far too real for my liking. I take this to mean that I am not in the best of mental conditions, but situation-wise, I am on high ground indeed, so whatever the problem ends up being, I know all will go totally fine. However, poor Mr Inspiration is still left out quite a bit lately to make room for Mr Destructive Introspection....
No, you aren't the only one who thinks this sounds like a change for the worst. In fact, I don't remember appointing Mr D.I. at all...Currently tho, the matter is being constructively, and positively dealt with. In the mean time, I might as well use my bountiful time to relate the goings-on of the past couple of days.
The weather has been wet. So have the streets, our cars, the grass, the dirt, peoples' hair, our clothes, etc. The little dirt-path between my seventh- and eighth-period classes morphed into a fast and treacherous canal that can only be navigated using a gondola. Having no gondola, you can imgaine how many pairs of pants and socks I've had to wash recently.
But my optamistic little spirit cannot so easily be soaked sad and flaccid: The ample precipitation gives rise to hope of snow this year. Huhoo!
I am beginning to appreciate life's lack of predictability, despite the fact that most of my expectations for this week have not been completely realized. In truth, I'm beginning to understand how narrow-minded it is for me to believe that my plans for fun are really the best plans possible. Surely God, being outside the constraints of human knowledge and imagination, can come up with and bring to fruition a better agenda than I can. Apparently so. For one thing, God doesn't have to pitch his ideas to anyone, make sure they sound reasonable, or find out if they fit in with our scheduals. Trusting God the past few days has really improved the content of my life...one of the many things for which I am thankful.
And in mentioning God in what claims to be a free country, I certainly hope that those of you, who would normally disagree or roll your eyes or argue childishly, can simply nod, smile and move on to the next paragraph peacefully. Come on, it's a holiday.
As for how I spent today: more or less I woke up brightly and busily around 7:30, ready for the charity delivery drive I had happily agreed to accompany Kouji on. Then came the wasp fiasco, which took me off the phone for a moment so that I could stalk a stinging instect in my pajamas. Large stinging insects never pick very convenient places to land--this one landed on the curtains in our entry-way--but at least this time I didn't have to go get a chair. I plopped a cup down on top of him, as Little Doodoo squealed fearfully in the background, disturbing my concentration and frazzling my nerves. I imagine that Kouji, through the phone, safe at the other end of 260, was pretty entertained ^_^ Finally I caught the wasp and went to work gassing him with a tissue-full of acetone. There were enough fumes in that cup to choke a cat. So I chased Raymi into the other room.
After the Mission Arlington stuff, which was the best part of the day (by far, hands-down, no-tie ^_^) I was sent back into reality with the assignment to eat my food and anticipate more fun later. I tried to keep some faith and affection in store for my estranged and etiquitte-challenged family, but half-way through dinner it began to seem more likely that I am just not cut out for that kind of responsibility...I moodily crammed mushy, warm, edible things into my mouth as I reflected on my newly attuned senses of anger, surprise, and disappointment. Afterwards, I instigated a long session of violent video game-play. My levels of social interaction dwindled steadily as my use of college-level verbs and uncommonly-known technical terms increased.
Funny thing is, I really don't think I was doing that on purpse...
After everyone left, I began to feel a bit better, so Gina and I acted stupid and pigged out on carrot cake. I returned to my room and noticed that 'Keba was lurking somewhere inside my recliner, because her head was poking out the bottom. It took me a few minutes to help her out of there. Since then, I've had my nose burried in old papers, old books, old drawings, and old message logs...I guess I'm a slight bit nostalgic...there are so many nice things to reflect on...so many good memories I have in these articles of code and paper...But I think the best part is that so many of my best memories are recent...daily, to truth...I've read in a very wise book that the present is the best time to live in, mostly because the Here and How (TM) is all that touches eternity, but still: mine is a very happy present indeed. I suppose, though, that right now in this room, illuminated only by my monitor...things are just kind of dull. I'm very willing now to put my typing tools to other uses, particularly those of specific button-mashing.
To be honest, in conclusion, today didn't seem as much like Thanksgiving as I had thought it would. I guess that's all that can be expected when faded memories mix with uncertain prospects...but in all other ways this day has much improved over past ones like it...And now I sound like Dickens. Still...It makes me glad that I am not the one in control.
