16:49 - 2005-01-18
Fleets of Stares
Ahhh, did I have a happy weekend. Let's try and think of some stuff...I find it hard to remember these things, happy tho they may be:
I realized, talking to our little circle group in the hall this morning that: my life is officially really boring.
And...I guess it is.
Or at least, I suppose it seems like it is, more or less because the best part of it is MY part (we've been over this) and I don't feel like explaining it to anyone. And so, I suppose it is very good that this more bestest--and most secretest--part is also the biggestest part as well. Makes for boring reading, I'm sure, but then again, I don't know that you'd be all that interested or intrigued even if I went to all the trouble to try and type it out. This time, as I have noticed, while not only being the largest and most joyous portion of my waking and unconscious life, is also the sort of subject that you can only enjoy from the most profound depths of my perspective. And you know that only makes me luckier ^_^
ANYWAY--since I'm not mentioning that biog chunk of glee--I will just have to tell you about the remaining 3%:
Monday was a federal holiday, one that we fondly refer to as King Luther Day. I woke up around eight, since I can't stand waking up late, and I puttered around...I don't even remember exactly what I was doing, only that the entire time I felt like I should be doing something else. Ironically, I can't help feeling like I spent the majority of my time staring blankly at things:
I woke up, took a shower, started at the fogged up glass--which wasn't uncomfortable, I guess....After my shower, I wondered into the kitchen and stared at the stove for a while, then I stared at the cat, then spent some quality time standing in the doorway of the bathroom staring at whatever was in there...all the time thinking, "I gotta do something today..."
I was lucky enough to be able to spend at least a little bit of time in the past three days with Kouji, but on Monday he had to go obtain his food-handler's liscense. And I suppose I feel like he has WAY too much potential and intelligence to be stuck in the resteraunt business, but...*sigh* I suppose, like he says, it's best not to rock the boat just yet.
My little stare-fest went on tour throughout the rest of the house, eventually coming to the computer room and the bedroom. In my mind I went over the millions of things I could put myself to work doing: vacuuming, video games, web-surfing, etc...but for some reason none of them seemed very fulfilling. I read a few webcomics before Kristian signed on and Gina took the computer. I stared at her friend, who was griping about something or another, then I went into the bedroom. There I found a new definition of cold from which there was no redemption. I wrapped up as warmly as I could, still feeling like I must escape, must wiggle, must find something to occupy myself with. I stared at my cellphone for about half an hour, filing over and over through Kouji's numbers, and wondering if I would be interrupting him if I happened to call. Shivering, and gradually running my phone battery down, I rolled up in my blanket and decided it was time to play DOA until my mind exploded.
By now, it was about half-past noon...I stared at the clock in disbelief. The endless intense mashing and fighting had warmed me up quite a bit, which I appreciated, but pretty soon, my restlessness got the better of me and I paused to rest my thumbs.
Usually I can handle being by myself without any trouble at all...I'm still not sure why I was wigging out so much...I paced around, thought of things I could try to keep busy, sat, staring at my screensaver, listening to country music. The station played one of those reckless country tunes about just gittin' up and going and not givin' a durn about whatever you're gittin' up from, so I gitted up and goed. I crammed my feet into my boots and walked out the front door and just started walking.
At the end of the street I turned left off of St Johns and headed toward St Charles, then took another left onto St Matthew. On the ground I found some packaging peanuts, which I popped between my fingers, causing little bits of foam to fly everywhere. I nodded kindly to the trashman, as I contemplated the likelyhood that I would survive if I continued walking, on and on, to the highway and beyond. After all, if I got worried or there was some complication, I could simply turn and head back to home base. I was not so reckless as to not keep track of which turns I had taken. On St Matthew I stopped to say hello to an orange and white cat that came trotting toward me. We sat together on the curb for a while, and I was glad to have a little companion. She may not have been the best, but considering how many creatures in the world are not Kouji, I think I got off all right. I took to calling her Sushi, since her colors reminded me of steamed salmon or shrimp. Sushi-chan followed me around the corner. As I talked to her about various things, she stopped periodically to inspect storm drains or car tires, and we both stopped a moment to marvel at the rich green yard that is on the corner of St Matthew and Rocky Creek. I said goodbye to Sushi-chan and decided to go ahead and call Kouji so that I could tell him about my exciting little adventure.
Kouji, I think, had a much more troubling day than I...his allergies had him sneezing 7 or 8 times every five minutes, which didn't help the fact that he was trying to do several things at once when I had let him go earlier that morning when I had called to find out what his plans were. By the time I called him back tho, he seemed to be doing better, and was quietly working away on some programming code, so I let him get back to that.
'Keba was amused by the cat toy I crammed into the couch, and she played with that while I went into the kitchen to scare up something to eat. I wasn't particularly hungry, but I'd been looking forward to trying the hot wings she'd bought specifically for our King Luther Day celebration. I preheated the oven, set the time, and sat down to watch the cat play with the thing I'd impaled the couch with. She seemed to be having a good time. Eight minutes passed and I got up again to turn the chicken over and reset the timer. After another eight minutes I found myself, once again staring at the food I'd made, wondering whether I had planned on eating it or not. I wasn't all that hungry, really...I had just wanted something to do, I suppose. But, having nothing better to do, I ate the chicken wings. Then I sat down again, and curled up in my blanket, boots and all and felt myself drift off in to the foggy dark quiet of sleep...I jerked awake about four, jumped straight up and frantically tried to figure out what I was going to do. Not even sardonic, wondering thoughts brought me out of this mood, and I went right back to pacing, staring, and squirming emotionally. I didn't even really care what it was I ended up doing, I don't know that I wanted to do anything at all, but at the same time...I just couldn't sit still. I'd spent most of the day starting tasks, then wandering off nervously...and knowing this, I couldn't help but feel odd. I sat and thought of a few nice, but far-from-propable things, which floated quickly away. I don't remember them twitching much, but I do recall the notion that my eyes might just shoot out.
The Simpsons came on, so I watched the beginning of it, then picked up playing DOA again. I had finally obtained Kasumi's last couple of costumes, which I've been working on for a while, and was having fun forcing her to fight with Ayane, just so I could match up their costumes. Then, suddenly, most blessedly, the phone rang. Myaa....
I've still not gotten my pictures back yet tho. My mom keeps forgetting to get them developed. Gina got a fish at this birthday party, and his name is Copernicus. I find that amusing. Along with my books, Mom is supposed to be bringing him by this evening. I wish I had gotten a picture of Sushi-chan...hopefully I will see her again. I should probably go find an internet source for my research project tho. It can't be too hard to find things on Australian culture and its evolution. I have almost five sources now, so I'm almost home free. The work just seems to tedious -_`-
Our disk was warped, so we didn't get to watch the rest of Love Hina. it was interesting tho, while it lasted. As was Nuku Nuku ^_^
I am reading a book now called The Bean Trees, which is really candid about a lot of, erm...things that I guess I would not be candid about. But it is funny and quirky, and I'm enjoying reading again. I might bring a lunch tomorrow. I got some bakery goods today, but my tummy is complaining because most of it was sugar and I haven't eaten diddly squat all day. My lunch plans depend mostly on whether or not my dad bought anything worth eating for lunch. Justin and Jeff kicked this snooty kid out of my seat today, which I suppose I should take as a compliment. We didn't get to be in the same groups again tho. We didn't get much done when we were last time, but it was fun. I'm usually on task, concentrating on my work, but it's much more liberating to screw off a little and laugh. I used to do that all the time. *yawwwwwn* I'm s'eepy and it isn't even 6 yet...I'll try to come up with some pictures to stash in here, so you's guys won't be totally bored. I mean...heck, what's the point of having access to pics if I never use 'em? Don't worry, I will.
Later.
