20:29 - 2003-12-16
In The Name Of \"Grrr\"
Today was goin' sweet and spiffy, we watched a toy movie in Health, and it was lame, which is typical, but it was also kind of nice, for once, not to have to sit and stare at dumb stuff and wish you had something better to do. And then I was walking and making obnoxious noisaes with Jenny and Brandon and Chanel when all of a sudden I found me a big fat $10 bill. And I said, "I'm gonna put this in my Christmas fund and use it to buy gifts for my family and friends. It worked for Edward Scissorhands, right?"
Everything was PEACHY keen until 7:18 when GUESS WHAT?
I'm at home.
Yeah, what's so bad about that? Well, it's not such a big deal when you're at home screwing off enjoying yourself, but it DOES kind of chap ya when you're piddling your time away and you're SUPPOSED to be in an auditorium wathing a play. A play that you promised several people, including a very impressed teacher who holds you in high regard (till now) and MORE IMPORTANTLY a play your friend is going to be acting in.
She'll says she didn't mind, and so will the other people who said they'd meet you there, but they WILL. They DO. And it'll effet the way you're seen.
Because when people CARE they REMEMBER.
Face it. You don't really want to do something, you brush it off. You don't care either way, you don't think about it. If you DO care and it IS important, you pop to your feet, you're ready for it, you're looking forward to it, you SURE ain't gonna forget it!
But this one did!
Now I have a really amazing bunch of freinds, who I hate to disappoint and who I care about to the ends ofthe earth. I'm supposed to have chained my dad to the wall until hegave me his credit card so I could buy a bunch of really nice presents for them and uphold the wonder of this delightfully stressful season. I have a brain, I have some money, I should be able to do something as simple as that, correct?
Nope that idea got recycled by accident as well, so we'll have to wait another day--ANOTHER POTENTIAL SHIPPING DAY--to get that job done.
Why we give presents. Ever wonder? Well there was a trio of old guys back in the day who wanted to give they're coming Messiah a message that they loved and respected him. They didn't just invest their well-earned cash in this, but they hopped on a bunch of filthy camels and ferried this loot across several countries to some hole in the wall called Bethlehem--They were Kings, remember?--in the name of FAITH to give this cute little baby some gifts.
And they didn't get him a gift-certificate to Bath and Bodyworks, uh uh.
Melchior prolly took that gold and wrapped it up in some snazzy paper or something and tucked it into the cleanest, shiniest, most padded camel-bag he had, and took off to make sure Jesus got what he wanted.
Balthazar, or which ever one it was, he whips out his pocket book and gets some francincense. That was like Calvin Klein, back then! I bet he bought that and went, "Oh yeah, I'm in the zone now!"
And that last guy, he was the cleverest: Caspar got the myrrh. Really now! You don't even know what that is, but I bet ladies heard about this and went whining to their boyfriends, "Honey, how come you never buy me any myrrh?" Myrrh even SOUNDS elegant (and rather fun). You can have no earthly clue what the heck this stuff is or how to use it, but Mary and Joseph were going, "Hey, neato!" And Caspar just sat there grinning, on the way to Bethlehem, around the campfire with his homeys:
"Hey, Balthazar, I got some gold. It's the shiniest, dawg. What'd you get?"
"Takin' him some frankincense. A brother gotta be smellin' good, right? How 'bout you, Caspar?"
"Oh, uh, nothing much. I've just got me a little bottle of myrrh here."
"WHOA! Where'd you get that?"
"I just been saving it I guess, for a special occasion, no biggie, no biggie."
And they didn't go into the presence of the infant Jesus going, "Oh boy, I sure hope he likes it!"
They went in there saying, "Heavenly father, we humble ourselves and welcome you! Please accept our gold and frankincense and myrrh!"
And Balthazar's going, "He's a baby! Aw man, well he's not gonna be using this any time soon!" and prolly handed Mary the bottle of frankincense. What's an infant gonna do with cologne? It prolly made good baby powder or something, so mAry didn't have to use sand on him, but uh...
This has a heap lot to do with my guilt, huh? I missed my friend's play, I'm gonna be doing good to HAVE presents for these people, but I've been raving on and on about the three wise men.
I guess that's just how it is with me though. When I remembered this horrid little fault, I slapped myself about 20 times as hard as I could and probably said something really dramatic to make my friend worry about my well-being if left alone with myself, and then stormed off.
I have friends who, if they had forgotton MY play would prolly sound a ten-fold worse, but instead of beating my head in and fogging up mirrors with the sheer amplitude of my mood, I more or less just go off on a rampage of blithering hysterics.
I could make movies about it, at what expense, and just miss stuff left and right and pitch about it and make no sense to anyone, but I bet they'd be more entertained if I used puppets.
Instead though I usually jump in a shower, clothes on sometimes, bust on the tap water, no heat and just stand there scrubbing and venting and sounding like the kid on The Iron Giant when he drinks the espresso.
*twitch twitch*
Yeah, I need something automatic to strike me inthe face when I screw up. It's fun to do just for fun, but sometiems I really deserve it and frankly I don't hit hard enough most of the time.
So somebody get me that new Smite-O-Matic I been seeing on the TV. They show it all the time before the regular program schedual gets going at seven or whatever.
*sigh*
As Lil Jerky put it, very aptly: This shucks corn.
PS: Typos left in for realism.
