16:17 - 2004-11-02
Psycho?......Psychologically?
I'm back.
I'm sorry to have been gone so long, but you should all REALLY learn to accept and adapt to change. It is everywhere, you know. I can forgive you though. It isn't your fault. I mean, honestly, how can you be expected to cope rationally in life when your minds are chemically-drenched almost to the point of retardation?
If I continued in that tone, how many of you would politely remark, "Why yes, that's so scientifically correct. I commend you"?
More realistically, how many of you were just now reaching for your blunt, heavy, rioting-item-of-choice?
I thought so. Sadly, however, there is a rude reality that we all need to be awakened to:
Our adolescent brains are immature, undeveloped, disordered, feeble, and inadequate. Our judgement is impaired, we are all in constant states of denial, and whatever happiness- or joy-related feelings we infer that we are experiencing can easily be ruled out as the over-activity of biological fluids in our pitiful little brains. Also, according to a good number of knowledgable and scientifically inclined adults, we display ridiculously inflated senses of false security and invulnerability, despite our disappointingly low levels of self-esteem.
The outlook isn't all that much better for our flimsy, cumbersome pubescent bodies: Those of us who are women are doomed to steadily gain weight in the interest of our unborn, but very demanding future children. The men may be allowed to escape into adulthood with a moderately functional body, but until then, they are stuck with something relatively weak and humiliating.
Don't forget your disappointingly low self-esteem now! That's the TRUE essence of adolescence! OR--perhaps you're reacting with some unreasonable and childish feelings of unfairness or anger? Or apathy? Don't worry, today's scientists have plenty of other ways of derriding you and an abundance of complicated words to use for it.
You should be grateful though that I brought all this to your attention! I mean, how can you stand to wander through life without having your every new sensation cheapened for you and explained away by someone much more senile and condescending than you?
To tell the truth, even I am not as radical as all this. Hopefully. Everything I've just related was seen in a film I watched during Psychology class. I'm pretty sure the film-makers were striving for an equal mixture of educational material and negative propaganda. Because, while I may just be under the influence of logic-diminishing teenage hormones, I somehow got the idea that because we are adolescents, our superiors have an excuse to label us as burdensome, pathetic, and in a lot of ways messed-up. They giggle as we struggle with what they claim are "simple discernments between right and wrong". They shake their heads at our "endless supply of fantastic unrealities". They roll their eyes and sigh hopelessly at our "complete iresponsability", our "indecisive nature", and our "unnecessary passions".
Or am I beginning to sound like they're right?
I won't claim that I don't mess up. I won't make futile efforts to look like I'm always confident, or in-control, or decisive. I won't say I've met every expectation and followed every rule. And I won't pretend that I don't have strong feelings, that sometimes I'm irratic, that sometimes my actions are wrong, or my words hypocritical.
So how dare the rest of these people make these claims? How dare they imply that their little lapse of majority gives them the right to analyze and criticize me? And what's more: How DARE they try to convince me later that they are understanding of my situations and that they lived in "my time" and experienced these "teenage things" themselves? How ignorant can you be? Obvious you don't remember much if this is how you're going to treat me. And what are you talking about? "Teenage things"? These aren't just "teenage things". Not in my book anyway. This is how you portray and how you designate the areas of my life. You, adults, are the ones who make all this so diffucult. You're the ones blaming the rest of us.
I have never denied any of the things I've done or what they make me: Human--not just adolescent--human. I've never been proud of them. A lot of the qualities I "display" now shame me to my very core. But I've never denied them. What's the point? It's reality! What I accept and deny matter very little compared to what I live. What good does it do to deny it? And what good does it do to criticize it?
If these scientists and these "mature adults" know so much, where are they? If it's so apparent to them how we act and how we feel, where are their solutions? Where is their compassion? I demand to know what right these people have to judge me!
And the worst part is none of them are any better than the things they mock us as. Are they decisive? Are they always rational and composed? Can they distinguish right from wrong? Do they always do what's moral, even when the "correct choice is right under their noses"? No. Sometimes hardly ever. They break rules all the time, the only difference is no one is standing there berrating them for it. They can dismiss it as quickly as they please because they are independant. They can afford to be selfish, and indecisive, and irresponsible because instead of saying, "His parents should punish him" people say "That's just the way some people are..." It's easy to be perfect when there's no one judging you, and no one listening even if judgement comes.
No...I no longer claim to be mature. I sound childish, and boisterous, and dumb. I admit to that. I don't want to, because I don't want to have to. But I don't want to be complimented by condescending superiors, and I'm tired of being repremanded and put down. I have a right to my feelings. To my actions. To my thoughts. I have a right to learn on my own if you refuse to guide me. I am not a fool, I am not impaired, and I am not inferior, except in vertical stature. And, most importantly, I am deserving of respect: I haven't given up yet and I am trying as hard as I can.
Just like you.
