17:56 - 2003-10-13
A Roast Most Fowl
This weekend was deformed and longer than usual. It had four days instead of just two. If there is a god that makes weekends (other than the normal God, I guess) he made a mistake. Not that I complain.
But anyway, stuff happened that I must tell you all about or I will be murdered tonight in my sleep by Agent Chunk and won't be able to go to school. Oh no, I can't let that happen! So here I go.
Thursday got lost somehow, but Friday showed up on time and we went out to lunch. Then Friday night, I went with my sister and her little friend to Medieval Times. Lord Alexander, from last time, wasn't there, but the disappointment ended there and I got to eat a lot of food while yelling at people.
They served the soup, then the potatoe, then the chicken, then the rib, then the other chicken, then the bread, then the other chicken's brother, Ted. There was so much chicken and they just kept bringing me more. It was like a nasty nightmare about delicious chicken (Ted was a bit dry though) and I just couldn't eat it fast enough. I have a nasty habit of eating everything on my plate too, and I mean EVERYTHING, so it was really hard to eat that fast.
And I felt like a hyena gnawing on it like I enjoy doing.
It was a wonderful, golden evening, and the dude in the tournament who we rooted for was kind of the Modredy underdog, so that made it even better. And there was fighting and more eating.
And I said "Pastry" to the king. Touche, my liege!
Then we saw a lady in the bathroom who was wearing a nifty cloak, which, from the look on her face, seemed to have come to her at a reasonable price. So I asked her, and she pointed me to this rack of costumes. She said that the company had just changed the show up and had to get rid of their costumes at these KER-AAAAAZY PRICES!
I was kind of thinking the usually, boring, logical thing:
"How often am I gonna use something like that? Ooo, it's cool."
But I went and scoped it out, because the show hadn't started yet, and they really had some cool stuff. I told the lady I might come back and look at it somemore, but that right now I had to go look at the Dungeon stuff.
And we walked through the Tunnel or Torture, or whatever it's called. They had the Breast Ripper in there like three times, and they had the Judas Cradle, and the Chastity Belt, and, as always, the beloved Rack. And we took turns reading the plaques that went with each horrible device in spooky voices.
Then the show started and we went in and the chicken montage began. The next hour was very exciting, and loud, and roasted, but I loved every minute of it. I don't get a lot of chances to scream graphic threats at total strangers in a Scottish accent. Well...maybe I do, but...this time there were horses.
After the show, we talked to some of the k-nig-its and my sister and her friend got some autographs.
Then we went back to the costume rack and I was looking at something when my sister put on one of the horse-rider costumes and seemed to like it a lot. I asked her if she really liked it and she said she didn't have her money with her. So I bought it for her, and told her she could pay me back.
At only 75 bucks, I think it was a pretty good deal for a renaissance costume, and we both realy like it.
Then we spent the night at her friend's house. This is the friend with the pet rats that I like to mess with, so I was content enough, even though the whole family is usually bickering and fighting. I guess when two of them start arguing, it looks like to much fun to the others and they all join in. I stayed up till two talking to my sister's little friend, who really isn't all that bad when the rest of her family is asleep. They're very good, kind people, and we love them all despite the fact that they never get along.
The next morning, at seven, the younger brother, in the family, came in and yelled at the top of his lungs about how thirsty the rats must be. I cracked up, and I'm sure that if anyone was able to sleep through the little boy yelling, I woke them up laughing. Then I helped Matthew, the now fully conscious father, make breakfast.
Matthew is the king of breakfast, so it was tasty like a royal breakfast would be.
After I got back to my Dad's house, there was an invitation for me to go with my dad and Cheryl out to eat. I felt my intensely round belly and declined, and for once did so not only because of Cheryl.
Saturday, was used to surf the internet and read new Jhonen interviews. Which is always thrilling. Then that evening, we watched a movie and my magical friend called. My dad says I was annoying after the movie, but I saw he was sleepy.
And Chanel says "burrito".
Well, we went to church Sunday, then we went home and watched Animatrix. Those Matrix-maker brothers are good at coming up with a nice story, but I think they stink at covering up an obvious attempt at getting two characters nearly naked.
Then, about sunset on Sunday, my sister showed me something her friend's brother had showed her, where you stick some grass between your hands and blow through them to make a noise like a dying waterfowl.
It woke my dad up, and we laughed, then as always Cheryl went home and we went to bed.
Today, we got up and played the Screensaver Game, and a moose came over and he wanted to play Monopoly. But we told him that was a really boring game, and he went away, dejectedly. We are calling him tonight to apologize. We hate to be rude, but...darn those Parker Brothers! We hate them so!
Then we watched "They". I expected it to be dumb, but it didn't even have any cool-looking monsters in it. If you would like to argue that it did, I'd like to see you prove that there was a single scene in that film where you could actually SEE the monsters. There wasn't. It was blurry. If I was in that movie, I wouldn't not be sceered of them blurry monsters at all, and I would move out of Vancouver, cuz I think that's where they filmed it, and it looked like everyone was living in a bug zapper.
It must sound like I hate movies. It's really okay though, because I do. I hate all movies, big and small, and someday I am going to launch them all into the sun, so that people will have to look directly at the sun in order to watch their movies.
Just now, I told Death about this awesome plan, saying, "Cool huh?"
He replied, "They should make a movie out of it."
Oh, yeah, and I really didn't get to start writing this till 6:30 or so. The doorbell rang as I walked into the room. I was greatly surprised to find Carol, one of my dad's friends (who's daughter was in choir with me last year, and who's name my father could never remember at first). She is always fun to talk with, I told her about the let-downs of high school, though I keep asking myself why I tell adults these things when they've already been in high school and already know that it sucks.
But while I was talking to Carol, my sister got bored and, as she is apt to do, came over to my blank diary entry slate and wrote a very accurate account of my day a week ago, or so. It was a pretty boring day, but I'll put the entry in here anyway.
