13:57 - 2004-09-18
Sancto Bovis.....
This is the sad, sad....sad sad story of Spoo. Poor stupid Spoo whose day has been so incredibly wack...
Like wack...dawg...
Today I rolled outta the rack at somewhere around 4:58. I think because I was mesmerized by waking up at a time I usually go to bed, but I went to bed at 12 last night because, well I HAD NO CHOICE. I think it was really closer to one, but that's all right because it's all good.
It really isn't because words are cheap and lies are for the weak, and all tht prophetic phylosphical junk that isn't bad, but doesn't make any sense.
Okay, so I drank this insane coffee, okay? Not just randomly, there was a reason, and I reeeeeally wouldn't have done it if there hadn't been a reason beause I don't like black coffee, I don't even really go crazy about creamed-up, sugar blasted coffee. I like tea. I had some tea too, but anyway, here is the story:
I woke up this morning at five because of today was All-State auditions. We practice these little cuts of music, and then go into a room where no one can see you and sing it and hope they like you. Usually things go all right, it's nerve-racking for some, but most people do okay with it. I usually do really well.
But today...
Well, I woke up, drank some hot tea (which was good, not strong as it should be, but gewd), and then we drove up to the school in the dead of night. We got there and warmed up and Mrs Menger pep-talked us and I was sooo excited, and happy, relaxed, ready for the challenge. An exciting challenge. I got to sit at the front of the bus and talk to Mrs Menger, and I liked that. My pillow came along too, Chibi Pillow. No one thinks Chibi is good enough to audition for All-State because she thinks she can sing tenor....Listen to my caffiene-induced liessss...
through qall this I was pretty dignified and calm, not jittery. We got there, I registered (got my nametag and number sticker) and then sat down and started reading a book. Soon, the lady had us all warm up, which means we sing each of our songs through at least once. Usually, we have two songs and we sing each one twice through. But today we had three songs and we sang two six times through and the other, four times. That's about 16 times one is singing, and trying to hear ones voice over the masses. I was worried that I had over-doine it because my throat was giving signs of feeling raspy, and I didn't want my voice to be inhibited when I auditioned, so I asked my mom to go get me something hot to drink to soothe my angry angry jugular.
All she found was coffe and I thought "Okay, I can drink coffee." I didn't think it was COFFEE-ZILLA, Grande-MUCHOS-LOCO Espressooo...but it WAS.
A little after I drank the coffee, and my throat began to feel a lot better, I played Uno, and won a bunch of times because I all sneeky like that, and I prolly made ten trips to the bathroom because of all the fluids I'd consumed, and then...it was time.
They called my name and I went to the room to wait in line to sing for the judges, who are invisible. Unbeknownst to me, the coffee had started kickin' in and was having a considerable eeffect on my heart-rate and neurological stabilty. Chemicals spazzed and fingers twitched, because that coffee had been black like a dude from Nairobi, I mean..V-v-v-v-vshjooooo!
But it still wasn't too terrible, I was nervous enough from having to sing at any moment that I was moderately sedate...see, usually I get very calm right before I sing, as opposed to my normal behavior. From normal position, which is kind of noisy and high-strung, for most people, I can tone it down to a docile, professional peacefulness. At this point, I was probably at above-normalness so, wherever my level of self-control was, I was only able to tone it down to somehwere about half-way between "high-strung normal me" and "professional, stoic All-State candidate".
So I got to the door and began to wait.
Mrs Menger had told us that we were nt supposed to listen to the people ahead of us. You can hear them auditioning through the wall, and this can be a bit unnerving for some people--it's really best not to break your concentration by listening in. So I asked the room monitor if I could go around the corner, but she said I'd have to sign in. I told I could, but she said I wasn't supposed to until it was my turn. Okay...I didn't want to miss my turn, and I knew if I walked off she'd probably neglect to come get me...So I sat down in line, next to the wall and shoved my fingers in my ears. But I could still hear her! The person singing was loud enough to be heard through the wall, and down the hall without any trouble. So I started moving my fingers around in my ears, to make noises inside my ears that might block out the singing. When that wasn't enough, I took to clicking my teeth a little, grinding them together in little ragtime rhythms, so I'd have something else to think about. And, due to the coffee, I'm pretty sure I was rocking back and forth a little, which is already kind of a nervous habit I have.
And, while I was concentrating pretty hard on my task at hand, I'm pretty sure those other girls were pretty disturbed by what they saw:
A two-tone-headed chick, squatting on the floor, rocking back and forth nervously, clicking her teeth and wiggling her fingers in her ears: an autistic, twitching squirrel-child, in a skirt, there waiting to try-out for Texas All-State Choir...
This makes me laugh now, but that might just be the coffee talking. In an episode of Futurama, that you may have seen, Fry used his tax rebate of $300 to buy 100 cups of coffee, and on the 100th cup, he became the coffee god, able to move so fast that everything else appeared to be moving in slow-motion. This coffee that I drank was So. Strong. That one probably could've achieved coffee god-dom with only three cups.
This entry is going to look like it was smattered out by a flailing chimp, which I won't say is far form the truth, but really, I hope it's legible through the typos.
Time for me, however, is seemingly moving faster than it should be. I just looked at the clock and it was 12 pm, and now it's already a quarter-till-three. My eyes feel pasted open, like a bush-baby's, but my limbs feel heavy as if from lack of sleep. On top of that, I keep getting tingly feelings, and I feel kind of on the verge of insanity. I wonder how in the world people can do this every morning and go through the day without having massive spazz attacks. Yeah, I know, gradually they get used to it, but, honestly, if you're used to this....How HUMAN can you BE?
I'm going to go blither like a lunatic in a place where the men in white coats won't hear me...*twitch twitch*
